As a bride to be, you are probably still ecstatic about the fact that you got engaged! Now there are all the arrangements to be made, and you have to pick the dress, set the date and oh so many things to do. Before you start drawing up your ‘To Do’ list you need to think about that all important task of picking your bride tribe! You may have a large group of friends, but ultimately you have to make the tough choice of picking only a few of your friends to stand alongside you when you say ‘I Do’ on your big day.
So, how do you make your choice? And how do you do it without hurting people’s feelings or making them feel left out? Also, how do you not get inundated with doing the right thing and finally risk messing up your big day?
These are questions that could keep any bride to be awake at night. But they shouldn’t. Here are a few tips on making this process easier for you, so that you have the best people around you, who will be supportive and have your back on the day of your wedding.
- 1. Pick people for the right reasons. Just because you have known someone the longest, does not automatically make them entitled to be your maid of honour or your witness. Try to pick friends who will stand with you, help you with wedding arrangements, and will also help centre you when you feel frazzled. Your bride tribe should consist of people who understand you the most, and can realise that the day is about you and your fiancé, and not about what makes them feel included or important. They should be happy to work backstage, and not hog the limelight. They should also love and support you, and you should also feel comfortable to be yourself with them. Think of whether you can go to them with any problem, big or small, and if they can handle it, then they belong in your bride tribe.
- 2. Can they handle responsibilities? Being a part of the bride tribe involves more than just wearing the pretty dress and standing by your side, holding your bouquet. The maid of honour, especially, carries a huge responsibility. She will have to put together the hens night, come up with fun hens party ideas, invite your closest friends and family to the party, purchase tasteful yet exciting accessories from the hens party shop, and more. On the big day, she will have to take over all the nitty gritty of the wedding preparations, leaving you relaxed and in a positive frame of mind. These are not simple tasks, and you need someone strong and reliable to have your back. So, try to consider who would be up for the challenge, and do it out of love for you. This goes for the matron of honour, the witness, and the rest of the bride tribe too.
- 3. Consider their willingness and ability to join your bride tribe. Contrary to popular belief, not all women are dying to be in someone’s bride tribe. Yes, it is a huge honour, and a sign of friendship to be picked to be in someone’s wedding preparations, but it is also a huge responsibility that not everyone can, or sometimes even wants, to handle. This is especially true for your friends who might be married, have kids, or have demanding jobs, who cannot take time away from their several duties to get fully involved in your wedding preparations. While you shouldn’t hold it against them, you should also reassure them that they are still invited to the wedding. Instead, try to choose friends who you know would be excited to get into the little details of planning your wedding, don’t mind spending some money on putting together a bachelorette party, have fun hens party ideas, and in general can stand with you all the way.
4. Make your choice based on your feelings alone. If you try to make everyone happy, it is a slippery slope that you will never recover from, and it could ruin your memory of your beautiful day. Also, consider your choices well, and don’t make any spur of the moment choices, simply because you had a moment of affection with one of your friends. Also, if you have a close guy friend who you think should definitely be a part of your big day, don’t be afraid to make him a part of your bride tribe. What matters is that you are surrounded by your closest friends, or family for that matter, who make you feel confident and relaxed, and will create beautiful memories of your big day, along with you and your fiancé.
